Humor Satire

Abundantly Simple: Everywoman's Gratitude Journal by Helen Kafka, Laura Hellen

By Helen Kafka, Laura Hellen

A spoof of the famed Oprah-book uncomplicated Abundance and different self-help books focusing on the modern lady.

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Extra resources for Abundantly Simple: Everywoman's Gratitude Journal

Sample text

MAY 1st Roosevelt High 25th Reunion Asheville, North Carolina I'm grateful for the news that Susie Forrester, homecoming queen for the Class of '74, never left home. I'm grateful that senior cheerleading captain, MaryJane Kennedy, now outweighs the team for which she once shook her pompons. I'm grateful that the members of the '74 boys' championship swim team no longer need to shave their heads to reduce water resistance. I'm grateful that gravity hasn't affected my double-A bust ... not having been quite so kind to Bambi "The Bombshell" Braithwaite.

MAY 1st Roosevelt High 25th Reunion Asheville, North Carolina I'm grateful for the news that Susie Forrester, homecoming queen for the Class of '74, never left home. I'm grateful that senior cheerleading captain, MaryJane Kennedy, now outweighs the team for which she once shook her pompons. I'm grateful that the members of the '74 boys' championship swim team no longer need to shave their heads to reduce water resistance. I'm grateful that gravity hasn't affected my double-A bust ... not having been quite so kind to Bambi "The Bombshell" Braithwaite.

SEPTEMBER 18th Reno, Nevada Although I've had a bit of a dry spell, I'm grateful that the Fiorucci sheets on my water-bed are always fresh. I'm grateful that support hose come in sandalfoot. I'm grateful that Frederick's carries French maid outfits in "plus" sizes. I'm grateful that a martini glass can double as a denture soak. I'm grateful Cosmo taught me to always be prepared— I'm never without a corkscrew, a string bikini or Feena-Mint. DECEMBER llth Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota I'm grateful that each time I pronounce "Cuomo" correctly, the producers let me drive the live-eye remote.

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